My Response to an Ad-Hoc Art Critic

I got the following email while on vacation this week:

375 bucks for a pic of a pile of cola and beer garbage.. you're not serious... most of your photos are boring... sorry but like simon from idol I feel you should hear the truth....

Note the lack of capitalization and overuse of ellipses, always a tip-off that you are dealing with someone who slept a lot in high school English class. Initially I responded thinking he was someone who had inquired earlier about stock image pricing. Anyway, here is how I responded once I realized my mistake:

Dan:

I must apologize. I sent you the wrong reply. I thought you were the person who had inquired about stock photography. You see, I got your email on my Treo phone while sitting in First Class on Continental sipping an imported beer on the way back from my Summer vacation in Vail, Colorado. I did not have the original stock request email on my Treo, having read and filed it on my laptop at the Vail condo while enjoying a fine Chianti wine prior to a gourmet dinner with old friends.

So, it appears that you are simply someone perusing the Galleries on my photography site www.ronscott.com . First, let me explain the mechanics of my site. Everything is run by server-side scripts and each one of my images is offered up automatically with two options to buy prints for wall decor (or collecting). Pricing for all images on my site is the same and does not necessarily reflect what I think the image is worth, just what I think the market might pay for a nice print of any of my images. Art is in the eye of the beholder.

I presume that the image you referenced as "a pic of a pile of cola and beer garbage" is the one titled "Beer Cola" in my "Signs of the Times" Gallery. This image is much more than just a photo of garbage. As art critic Dick Gazinia put it: "This image is a metaphor for the dichotomy of modern lifestyle. The juxtaposition of the remnants of the consumption of both alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages cuts a swath across all levels of society."

As far as my photos being boring, I would have been offended by your crude and neophyte remarks. However, your reference to the Fox program "American Idol" and it's no-talent ass-clown creator and host Simon whatever-his-name relieved me of any pain. Clearly you still rely upon training wheels when riding through the modern art landscape and I suspect that as a child you rode to school on the short bus.

Until next time...

Ron Scott


Blog readers: If you guessed that "Dick Gazinia" is not a real art critic, most likely you did not ride to school on the short bus.

August 22 Update:

I got a response from Dan (see below). Note the all lowercase text, run-on sentence, lack of punctuation and misspelling. Yep, he definitely slept through English class.

sure would like to be as deluded as you and your colleges it must be
nice to be so stuck on self and like personalities so as to live in your
own worlds with delusions.of grandeurs and appreciate the mundane so readily building into it that which is not there.

I have decided not to reply. It is unfair to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed fellow.